Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. This year, to save me from tears...

Target has posted a stocking full of gift suggestions for everyone in your life. There's a list for your brother, your officemate, even your mailman! And in The Fabulous Life of Being Us, there's even an offering from St. Nick for your Stylist. Naturally, I'm intrigued as to what Santa's going to be bringing me this yule, and apparently, I've been naughty...or is it too nice?

Chocolates (for emotional eating): Check. Toffee Popcorn (as an intermezzo between emotional chocolate binges): Check. Multidirectional waterproof personal massager (will come in handy when New Year's Eve kiss scenario doesn't pan out and can still bring in the new year with a bang): Check.

Thanks for the bleak Christmas, Target. Of course, I'll be enjoying all these yuletide treats alone, turning a lamp on and off while uttering "I won't be ignored!" with Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas is You" on a loop. But Target Claus, would it have killed ya to put some cheese fries on the list? Sometimes I get hungry after personal massaging.

[Target's "Stylist Giftlist" (www.target.com).]

Hot Cruz Buns

I saw this movie two months ago while flying transatlantic on Virgin (an Everyday Luxe preferred airline!), and it was a true pleasure.
Set in present day sleepytown Spain, Volver deals with a myriad of heavy topics like incest, murder, reincarnation, prostitution, and the ever refreshing plain ol’ bein’ po’ (that’s “poor” for the rest of y’all). And this being Pedro Almoldovar, it’s always about the ladies and how they deal with all the crap that men and society throws at them. Pedro's damas always work hard for the money, don't they?
Penelope Cruz is a revelation, and so gorgeous its painful. Reports say Almoldovar had Penny pad her ass to make her more believable as a down and out dumpy woman. Nice try. Pedro loves a tight facial close up, and Ms. Cruz is pore-free. So instead, Penny has to rely on her acting chops. Look for her name come awards season.

[“Volver” in select theaters now.]

You Must Not Know 'Bout Me

Ok, so the last Beyonce singles have crashed and burned. Let's face it -- when you're the artist who released the still infectious "Crazy in Love" (like 3 summers ago), it's pretty much gonna be downhill from there. We still love you, B, but apparently only as a remix. Ring the Alarm? Angry. Ring the Alarm Freemason's Dance Remix? Angry but smokin', like Angelina dealing with third world debt.
But La Knowles's latest single, Irreplaceable, is the ballad we've been waiting for from her sophomore album. It taps into all of Her Bootyliciousness's go-to songwriting trappings: Woman Done Wrong (Bills Bills Bills), Powerful Warrior Woman (Independent Woman Part 1), Woman with alot of shoes (every damn song with Beyonce singing lead).
But please listen to the entire song. By title alone, you'd think it was a love ballad. It's actually a break up song. So please, listen. Interpret. Reflect. Or else you'll be like my sister's junior prom committee who chose "Forever Young" as their theme. Nothing says prom like a little ditty about teen suicide.

[“Irreplaceable” by Beyonce, $.99 (www.apple.com/itunes).]